Michael’s handicap

Michael, oh Michael!

You’ve seriously gotta practice starting from the back of the grid. It’s a totally different ball game and I know you’ve lost touch with it. It’s not you fault. It’s really not your fault.

After getting used to the luxury of starting 40 of the last 79 grands prix from pole position, even God himself would’ve found it difficult to cope up with the chaotic clambering at the back end.

But hey, what’s wrong with you taking right-handers? Pardon my observations, but you have this uncanny ability to make racing incidents happen on right-handers. Take Adelaide ’94 for instance, or Jerez ’97. (Damon and Jacques, do you copy?)

That poor lad from your Germany had just gotten himself a team worthy of him. And you? You pushed him onto the grass and made it look like a cool racing incident. Quick Nick didn’t even say a word.

I remember something like this happened in 95 at Monza and you almost punched a hole in ol’Damon’s crash helmet.

Yes, it’s hard to let the championship slip by, but I fail to understand just what was it that you were to lose at Melbourne last Sunday.

Comon Michael, your list of achievements is so long, they had to invent the scroll mouse. So lighten up a bit and give the kids a chance. They deserve better than a DNF.

Yours truly,

Hard Compound.

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